A Great Help

For a few years now I have belonged to an expat Mother's Group. They hold playgroup meetings once a week, although now my kids are in school my involvement is mainly restricted to the internet. Every day my inbox is full of questions like 'Where do I buy quality diapers?' 'Can anyone recommend a good pediatrician?' and 'Is it normal for baby poo to be green?' (Yes to that last one in case you were wondering). But overall the single most posted request on my Mothers Group message board is 'Looking for a good maid.'

For many expats, unless they come from very wealthy and/or Asian backgrounds, having a maid is a new experience. One they very quickly become accustomed to. In the beginning of course, having someone in your house doing your domestic work may feel a little strange. You're basically allowing a stranger into the most private areas of your life, the place where normally only your closest family would see you.

I've seen quite a few women resist the idea when they first arrive. This generally changes around the birth of their first child. Suddenly the independent privacy loving modern woman who couldn't bear having a cleaner in their homes for even a couple of hours a day is begging for help to find full-time live-in staff. "No references? Not a problem! Can you start this afternoon?" And when I say staff, I mean at least three people. A well-off family in Bombay generally employs a minimum of a cleaner, a cook and a driver. Add to this a nanny and a general household maid and the 'help' can easily outnumber the 'family.'

To the locals, having a maid is no big deal. To the expat it is a wonderful, sometimes slightly guilty, novelty. They agonize about how much to pay, when to give holidays, what bonuses to present and fair working hours. And so they should. On the other hand, experienced maids to expats know exactly how to exploit their employers awkwardness. If she or he plays her cards right, a nanny or driver can earn twice the amount of an office worker, for a good deal less hours work.

In our not so well-off house we employ a full time nanny and a part-time cleaner. My husband and I drive ourselves and I do the cooking - although the nanny often cooks for the kids because they're much more likely to eat her food than mummy's (daddy doesn't have a choice). Just having these two people is such a wonderful blessing though. I can shop in peace, we don't have to live with my incredibly shoddy housekeeping and hubs and I can enjoy the occasional movie together. I'm even looking to start work soon, knowing my kids are in capable hands after school.

My maid Jaya seems to enjoy her job. Jaya doesn't speak English, and I don't speak Hindi but we both understand a good bit of those languages, so somehow it works. She certainly knows how to keep me in line and is often much kinder to and more patient with my kids than I am. When I say I would be lost without her it isn't much of an exaggeration. I am of course, very aware that she would do quite well without me as good house help are very much in demand. Unlike perhaps messy and culinarily challenged housewives.

(Culinarily is a word, thank you, I looked it up).