Paris - Day Une

There's really nothing like catching a long distance train at 6.30am. Or 7.30 if it happens to be late due to a faulty signal. It's a bit exciting, like being a kid again going on holidays. Although, since Ryan and I were off to Paris, I was already feeling pretty excited. I mean, Cannes is nice and all but Paris! They had, you know, monuments and cafes and people in quirkily mismatched clothes and stuff!

The fast train was very comfortable and five hours seemed to go by pretty quickly as we watched the mostly rural landscape flash past. A very green country France. And I love how they build their houses to be exactly like the ones you see on postcards. Even the cows were cute. But finally we pulled into Gare de Lyon, which is a station so well organised, even Ryan and my combined powers of misdirection failed to get us lost. On the way to our hotel in the taxi we passed the Notre Dame cathedral, which is of course famous for being in that Disney cartoon. Awesome.

I won't go on and on about how beautiful Paris is because, you've all seen the movies right? It was a pretty amazing feeling to finally be there though. When we passed the Louvre I have to admit my eyes got a little teary, but then I wound the window up and they were fine. It was really windy. Also rainy. But the big black clouds just added to the drama of the scenery.

Our hotel was tucked away in a side street in what seemed to be the 'Japanese Restaurant' section of Paris. The online site describes it as a "charming ancient property...located in a 17th century building, which in the past was famous painter Toulouse-Lautrec's townhouse." Why Monsieur Lautrec needed a house with 20 identical rooms I'm not sure, but it's very nice. We were greeted at reception by Gerry, who shook his head sadly when we said we'd come from Cannes. "People say Cannes is nice. I went to Cannes. It was nothing. Nothing!" Gerry, like pretty much every French person we encountered, was helpful and friendly and advised us on the sights we should in Paris see and how to get there.

Having dumped our bags in the rooms we headed out for some sightseeing. With only two days in Paris, one of them to be devoted to the Louvre, we were only a pretty tight schedule. This is about the point where I discovered the walking shoes I had brought for our explorations were actually not so great for walking in. Fortunately I'd also brought flip-flops, and really don't the streets of Paris just cry out flip-flops? No I didn't think so either but they were comfy.

We walked down (or up, I told you directions are not our thing) along the river Seine towards the Eiffel Tower, which Gerry had assured us was about half an hour away. Who knew 'half an hour' in Paris corresponds so well to the Mumbai 'half an hour?' So, about an hour and a half later we were at the tower. Or close enough. I'm not one of these people who needs to touch monuments, or climb them. We saw it, we judged it pretty damn good, we moved on. Next we strolled, maybe hobbled is a better word, to the Arc de Triomphe. Also very nice. Also felt no need to climb up it. By then it was evening so we stumbled our way back to the hotel via the Champs Elysees to have a look at where rich people might do their shopping. Lovely.

One thing I really liked about Paris was it seems to be made for walking. The footpaths are wider than the roads to accommodate all the pedestrians. As opposed to some cities where there footpaths are wide enough only to accommodate the illegal stalls and the pedestrians walk on the road. Yes Mumbai I'm looking at you. Maybe this is because Paris has quite a lot of people who walk to work where as Mumbai only has about a bazillion. Sorry. One of my small issues. Also, public toilets, but I'll move on.

We got back to our room exhausted and hungry and went out again shortly afterwards for our first meal in Paris. Which was Vietnamese. I should explain, Ryan is not such a fan of French food. "What's with all the darn bread?" and "not more darn cheese" being two of his common exclamations at meal times. Of course people who know Ryan will know "darn" wasn't really the word he used. To be fair, we did get a lot of bread. Even sandwiches seemed to come with a side order of dinner buns. I like bread though, and cheese and any kind of combination of the two. Ryan on the other hand was longing for something a little spicier hence the Vietnamese. Which turned out to be delicious by the way. And it did come with bread.

Cannes Days 6 and 7

Started off day 6 in a seminar about the difficulties faced by women in advertising. None apparently. That seemed to be the conclusion of the four woman panel including Martha Stewart. So, 45 minutes on there being no glass ceiling for women, and if there was it was probably women's fault. Alrighty then. Anyway the audience were pretty much all there just to hold their seats for the next speaker, Robert Redford.

The thing I like about Redford, apart from the whole talent thing, is that he actually looks his age. He has lots of wrinkles. People think women look bad when they've been over botoxed, but honestly, there is nothing creepier than a waxy faced old man. Let there be wrinkles I say. The talk was mainly focused on Redford's Sundance foundation, but did include a funny story about how he'd travelled through Europe as an impoverished actor and slept under the jetty in front of the very swank Carlton hotel in Cannes. At the time he wondered what it would be like to be one of the lucky few in tuxedos he could hear laughing and sipping champagne above him. Sixteen years later he knew.

More talks on Day 7. Most of them entertaining and educational. TV writers Aaron Sorkin (who also wrote The Social Network) and David Simon (creator of The Wire) were the highlight, although Edward de Bono was also as brilliant as you would imagine. And of course that evening the awards Ryan had been judging, cyber, were presented. Saw some truly amazing work. I was happy to see the Old Spice campaign get gold. If you haven't seen this you're missing out. You can go here: http://www.canneslions.com/work/cyber/ for a look. I also recommend the other winning sites. The humans can be quite clever sometimes.

Cannes Day 5

Today was a very good day, which is surprising since it started off with a seminar. But it’s different if the speaker is someone as interesting and engaging as Malcolm Gladwell. I have absolutely nothing snarky or to say about him. Not even his hair. Anyone who can keep an audience of jaded ad people enthralled throughout an account of the Arab-Israeli war is pretty damn amazing in my opinion. I admit I haven’t read his books, ‘Blink’ or ‘The Tipping Point,’ but I certainly will now.

Heard lots of inspiring talks today. No really. Much of it about how ‘social media’ and technology are changing the face of not just advertising, but pretty much everything. And if yesterday’s talks about leveraging causes for brands left me feeling a little cynical, todays made me optimistic about the future. People are finding new ways to mobilise themselves and speak up for the things they want, whether it’s more stripes on their running shoes or reducing our carbon footprint. And even I can’t find anything bad about that. Okay maybe the stripes. Stripes are stupid.

Then I went to the seminar about marketing Johnny Walker in Africa, to people who can’t afford mobile phones. Ah well.

That evening the cyber jury (weren’t they villains in Dr. Who?) and their companions were invited to a dinner hosted by internet magazine Fast Company. After my last wardrobe faux pas (see that, that’s French) I made sure I wasn’t going to be caught out again. I wore a long black evening dress with my highest spikiest heels. Naturally I came down to find the other women in casual wear, some even in jeans. Seriously I think they’re all doing it on purpose.

It didn’t really matter what we were wearing though because the only thing anyone was looking at a few moments later was the amazing view from the hotel rooftop where the dinner was held. And when it was announced that co-founder of the Huffington Post and Buzzfeed, Jonah Peretti (the geeks know what I’m talking about) and comedienne Susan from ‘Curb Your Enthusiam’ were going to be speaking things got even better.

Susan was hilarious, poking fun at the French, which I guess is too easy and Jonah gave some interesting insights into the online behavior of the average Facebook user. Yes that’s right, they’re onto you. All in all, my most enjoyable day yet.

Cannes Day 4

The seminars started today, which means a jump in number of the festival attendees. Cannes is suddenly full of people in shorts and flip-flops with plastic badges around their necks. The badges have become a way to start conversations and meet people from all around the world. Friendships are forged with the lines “where are you from?” and “which agency?” Which is why I of course quickly whip my badge off as soon as I’m out of the Palais. Talk to strangers? Meh, I can do that online.

Went to a seminar called “Culture Clubbing” which sadly turned out not to be about Boy George. There was a whole section on Lady Gaga, so that was interesting in a scary kind of way. Much like her music. Note to conference speakers though, starting off with statements like “I like to think of myself as a troublemaker” will only lead people to think of you as a wanker.

Next up, “Friends with Benefits.” Are these people trying to disappoint me with their titles? This turned out to be a seminar on how consumers no longer take note of all the crap dished out in tv commercials so advertisers need to learn smarter ways of dishing out the crap. Like on Facebook, for example. And how aligning yourself with a social cause will make people inclined to get all mushy about your brand and suspend their scepticism long enough to buy your personal hygiene product. It's all about "relationships." Apparently. That was the gist of it, but of course delivered in a much more lively and entertaining fashion. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Oh and Nick Jonas was one of the speakers. As in one of the Jonas Brothers. Nick Jonas! Wow! I had to really restrain myself from jumping up, running onstage, grabbing him and asking “WHY ARE YOU FAMOUS?” He seemed like a nice kid though.

That was two hours of seminars which I thought was a pretty good effort for one day. So back to the room to rest up for dinner, where we met up with an ex-workfriend of mine Carolyn from my Sydney advertising days – almost a decade ago. She’s still gorgeous and bubbly and now living in New York. That’s the thing about advertising, it can be a bit of a dodgy industry sometimes but there are so many lovely people in it.

Cannes Day 3

Registration Day. Ryan is under the impression that having travelled several thousand miles to the Cannes Advertising Festival (sorry, the "Festival of Creativity"), I might want to actually attend some of the events. Seven years of marriage, two kids and sometimes it’s like we just met. Anyway Reiko, still unable to shake me off, and I wandered up to the registration booth in the Palais de Festivals to get our passes. These large plastic cards are basically photo id that you wear around your neck, prominently displaying your passport photo to anyone you meet. I assume it’s part of the entertainment.

There was a bit of a hitch with Reiko’s pass. Apparently another Reiko had registered, also from Japan. So you can see the confusion. Wonder what happened when they got their fifth Michael from the U.S. It’s the Festival of Creativity after all, not the Festival of Very Efficient Organisation.

Having sorted out this issue, with the help of about six Festival volunteers, we picked up our goody bags. There were no lollies inside, only leaflets. Basically it is a bag of spam. And a couple of magazines. And a t-shirt. And a bottle of water. Except the lady at the counter looked at my pass and said, rather rudely I thought, that I wasn’t entitled to water. There’s a shortage I guess. The bags themselves are labeled “made of Bangladeshi jute,” so that’s nice.

Speaking of rudeness, I have to say that the French people I’ve encountered so far are among the least rude people I have ever met (water lady was English). The service everywhere has been better than most Sydney restaurants, both the snooty and un-snooty kind. And it’s not just the people who are paid to be nice that are pleasant. People say hello (or bonjour) when you share a lift, pass in the hallway, glance in their general direction. And if you’re a woman they stand aside to let you enter first, and hold the door for you. Quite a change from Bombay. Maybe it’s just Cannes, will let you know what it’s like when we get to Paris.

Another thing I love about it here is the beverages. When you ask for coffee at breakfast you don’t get a cup, you get a ten cup pot. To yourself. Probably to help you get over the bottle of wine you had at dinner. To yourself.

After collecting my unflatteringly adorned Festival Pass I went off for a bit of shopping. Needed to get a Father’s Day present for Ryan. And more importantly, stuff for me. The streets are getting more and more crowded as people arrive for the festival. I notice I bump into people a lot which I have put down to people here swerving to the right rather than the left to pass you, which is the opposite to home. Also, it could be the bottle of wine I had with dinner.

When Ryan got back from judging we made our way to the infamous Gutter Bar, known as the hangout of rowdy advertising types. There weren’t any there at that time, being too early, but we had a very nice dinner. And a bottle of wine. After which we went for a stroll along the seaside boulevard. Promenade? Foothpath. The lights of Cannes are beautiful at night and we could’ve strolled for hours. Except I had to pee. Damn wine.

Note to my sis in law Shevaun: I am keeping a keen eye out for cute French boys for you. There was a group of rather strapping shirtless construction workers on the lawn of the hotel at breakfast, and I looked them over thoroughly for suitability. I don’t want you to settle though so I’ll keep looking. No need to thank me.

Cannes Day 2

Day 2. Well actually Day 3, but I couldn’t get onto the net yesterday to blog. So here’s a quick roundup.Accosted the wife of one of the other judges yesterday at breakfast and before she could say “I’d rather eat my own liver” I’d planned for us to meet up and explore some of Cannes together. Our first stop was an 11^th century watchtower up on a hill with an eclectic museum next to it. It had a fascinating history. I can’t remember it of course but I recommend Wikipedia. Anyway the view from the tower, once you climbed the 3.2 billion stairs, was spectacular up and down the coast. Which is why my camera chose this precise moment to run out of battery. I’ll describe it instead: blue sea, yachts, some buildings, some hills. There you go.

Next Reiko, my reluctant companion, and I came back down the hill for a lovely pizza lunch. Not Pizza Hut sadly, but still very good, especially with a couple of glasses of the house wine. It’s great being in a place where the house wine is always French. Having refueled we set off to explore the shops off the Cannes beach road. Not the front row of expensive designers – I’m scared to even look in the windows in case it’s automatically charged to my credit card – but the cheaper shops behind them. Reiko needed to find a dress for the Festival closing party and I needed to frustrate some shoe salespeople with my stubby little child-feet.

Both missions accomplished it was back to the hotel for a little nap before Ryan came back from judging. In the evening we stood on our balcony and watched a fashion show in the grounds of the next hotel, fancy sports cars lined up outside. The announcements were made in French and Russian, which tells you where a lot of the money is in Cannes. We ended the day at the hotel’s restaurant, a nice deck facing the sea. The food was delicious the wine more-ish and the people watching excellent.

Here are some pics I've taken so far.

Cannes Day 1

When I worked in advertising we used to get pretty excited about the Cannes Gold Lion awards. Not excited like drinks night excited, but still, pretty enthusiastic. I never thought I'd actually get to go to the awards in person. I planned on going to Cannes for the film festival one day, but I kind of figured it would be as Keanu Reeve's date or something. You know, when he won Best Actor. Anyway, I guess the date part worked out - I'm accompanying my hubs Ryan who is judging at the awards this year. Judging the cyber ads to be specific. Ha! And he needs me to work the printer at home. He is so going to make me delete that.

The flight to Cannes from Bombay was pretty uneventful. Two hours to Dubai, three hours in Dubai and then six hours on to Nice. I slept on and off most of the way, mostly because the best in-flight movie option featured Jennifer Aniston. Ryan and I were pretty exhausted by the time we got to Nice but I was happy to see our customs officer had a French beard. We must really be in France! The awards organisers had a very nice car pick us up at the airport and bring us to our hotel in Cannes. We're at the 'Palais Stephanie,' which I hear is much nicer than the 'Palais Karen' or the 'Palais Rhonda.' I've never stayed in a palais before so I'm excited. Plus, we get to sleep under a giant poster of Carey Grant kissing Grace Kelly. And it's not cheesy at all because it's in black and white.

While I was packing for Cannes I'd asked Ryan, who'd been here before, what kind of clothes I'd need. "Oh," he said "everyone dresses casual. No one dresses up." Yeah. Right. In my world "casual" means pajama bottoms with a clean t-shirt. Over here it means a light linen suit. When people talk about how stylish the French are, I thought they meant the cool French people. Not the average Jean on the street. Turns out, even the average Jean here looks like they're from an ad for expensive coffee. I had a beggar (a beggar! In Cannes! Who knew?) come up to me wearing nicer shoes than the ones I wore for my wedding. On second thoughts, maybe he was trying to give me money. I don't know. He was speaking French. Unfortunately my French is limited to asking for directions to the disco and claiming 'that airplane is for me, me, me, me, me.' Not terribly useful. I've never needed a disco.

Our first few hours in Cannes were spent frantically trying to contact home. It seemed our mobile 'roaming' was limited to receiving international spam messages. We couldn't get through to anyone and the kids wouldn't be able to get through to us. Ryan seemed to think this was a bad thing. By the time it was all worked out we only had a few minutes to get to the welcoming dinner planned for all the judges and their 'companions.' (Thats, me, a companion. Trusty, loyal, occasionally shedding hair on the sofa.) Thank goodness the dinner was 'smart casual.' As I stepped out of the lift in my jeans and collared t-shirt (that's the 'smart' bit) I couldn't help but notice every single other woman was in some kind of black shiny cocktail dress and spiky heeled shoes. And most of them weren't even French. Not awkward at all really.

The dinner was fun. Ryan met up with the other judges and I drank a lot of champagne. I think I spoke to a few other spouses. I can't really remember. And I can't ask them because they're not returning my calls. Odd. So today I've been pretty much on my own. Like Scarlett Johanssen in Lost in Translation without actually being anything like Scarlett Johanssen. Went for a few walks along the boulevard, took a few photos, found the cutest little cafe with an authentic French menu and ate next door at McDonalds. Oh yeah, I'm that kind of tourist. I wonder if there's a Pizza Hut around here somewhere. Will check it out tomorrow.